How did I get along before experiencing “sajiao” in my life?
“Sajiao” [撒娇] or “unleashing coquettishness” is a kind of hard-to-describe childish, fetching behavior by some Chinese ladies for the benefit of their significant others involving sulky posturing, batting of eyelashes, a bit of a wheedling voice…and much more. I’ve found it amusing when coming from my significant other, it makes me laugh as it’s basically playful. But it’s not for everybody…
I’ve been treated to “sajiao” for a few years but never knew it had a name, until now.
Incidentally, I’ve been told that this foreign writer is wrong in saying that all Chinese men want and love “sajiao”; apparently it is definitely not appreciated by all of them.
2010-05-10 by Joseph Christian
For all that has been written about cross cultural relationships I am really surprised no one has really mentioned sajiao. Of course there are a lot of cultural differences that influence any romantic relationship between a Chinese and a Westerner but in my opinion none as often, or as much, as sajiao.
So what is sajiao? It’s not as easy to answer as you might think. Chinese people know what it is because it’s such a big part of their romantic and family relationships. Almost every young Chinese man wants his woman to sajiao to him. But if you ask them for a definition most have a hard time coming up with something precise…
…One way to describe sajiao is when Chinese women act like a cute but spoiled child in an attempt to appear gentle and soft. The pouty faces and innocent eyes are enough to melt the heart of any Chinese man, making them ready to do anything for such an innocent and helpless looking beauty. Which by the way brings me to another aspect of sajiao…the feminine performance of appearing weak to get what you want.
A perfect example would be when I am sitting at my computer surfing the Internet and my Chinese girlfriend is sitting across the room, right next to the water dispenser, watching TV. She will then turn to me with a sulky face and in a childish voice ask me, “baby can you get me some water?” From my Western perspective my first thought is, “What the hell! You are the one right next to the water dispenser…get it yourself.” But most Chinese men would jump to their feet and rush to the water dispenser to get a fresh glass of water to reward the sajiao of their girlfriend. While I might think it is acting spoiled, Chinese men love sajiao…
Full article here